A Step-by-Step Guide on Unleashing Your Inner Activist
Download Instagram. This is important because social media activism is the only acceptable form of activism. Going to protests, donating to worthwhile causes, and reaching out to your local politicians will not help make change.
Find an activist account with aesthetic pastel infographics. Share as many as you can to your story, solely based on their titles. Don’t bother reading the post’s content or checking any sources.
Post an infographic about discrimination against the LGBTQ+ community right before walking to English with the kid who got suspended for saying homophobic slurs. Bonus: Listen to said kid make homophobic jokes for the next forty-five minutes. Don’t call him out. When one of your classmates calls them out, roll your eyes and defend him. Say “he’s just joking” or “it’s not that big of a deal”.
Remember that Black Lives Matter thing from a few months ago when you posted a single black square and did nothing else? Yeah, forget about it. That trend’s over.
“we don’t talk about politics” and “I’m trying to change him”.
If someone calls out your boyfriend for making racist remarks, say that he can’t possibly be racist. After all, he likes Chinese food and his step-aunt’s half-Mexican, right? Bonus: tell the mean, horrible people calling him out that “we don’t talk about politics” and “I’m trying to change him”.
Make “No ethical consumption under capitalism” your catchphrase. Use it to justify that $700 Shein haul. Why buy ethically made clothing, even when your upper-middle-class self can afford it? Products made by child laborers that you’ll throw away after wearing twice are totally the way to go.
Your Instagram followers have to know that you don’t associate with bigots, so share a post that says “Being transphobic isn’t having a different political opinion”. The next day, pretend to support a man who rolled back health protections for transgender people so you can get invited to his supporters’ yacht.
Advocate feminism on your Instagram story while your “I’m not like other girls” complex grows stronger with every post you share. Join your guy friends’ misogynistic conversations and laugh at their sexist jokes because you’re cool and not sensitive like other girls.
Read two chapters of How to Be an AntiRacist or The New Jim Crow. Recommend them to everyone you know.
Make plenty of jokes and memes about how Texas deserved to have their pipes freeze and burst because they voted red; never mind that cities that voted blue along with poor and working-class people were the most affected.
Finally, when a person from a marginalized group criticizes your activism, immediately get defensive. Don’t try to do better. Educating yourself and unlearning your biases isn’t important. What is important is your image, so keep up the performative activism, you absolute girlboss!