The Art of Rejected Ideas

As you know, some of the buildings within Edgemont’s three schools have been around for over 65 years. In 2019 the school issued a bond with a face value of 38 million dollars in order to raise money to build and expand our facilities. As I was doing research on the topic, I was very upset to find out that many great ideas for new buildings were rejected. With that in mind, I gathered the professional architectural plans for those structures and asked the administration why those ideas were rejected. Here are the results:

#1- Real-Life Mario Kart Track

Reason why it was rejected:

“Although it would be a great idea to have a kart track on campus, the fictional character Mario reinforces discriminatory stereotypes and misconceptions that many people have about Italians. This could be very offensive to them, and we don’t want to be sued by a bunch of angry pizzaiolos.”

#2 A Runway for Private Jets

Reason why it was rejected:

“Although it would be much more convenient to go home on a private jet than having to spend seven hours a day stuck in traffic in the middle of White Oak Lane, we can’t build a runway. Airplanes make too much noise, and that would disrupt our after-school extra-help sessions. After all, when everyone puts their teachers’ extra help schedules into their notebooks in the beginning of the year, they always follow through on attending every single session.”

#3 Mount Rushmoredgemont

Reason why it was rejected:

“Although it would be a great idea to sculpt the faces of some of our faculty members into the rock in front of the Admin Building, we don’t want to start a catastrophic war over whose faces will receive the honor.”

#4- A Statue of Johnny Depp

Reason why it was rejected:

“Although we all love Captain Sparrow, I’ve Heard he’s recently become a very controversial figure. Honestly, I was looking forward to funding this idea, but the school received threats of vandalism. I’ve Heard someone sent an email threatening to break the statue’s finger. Furthermore, we don’t want to encourage the use of drugs and alcohol in our school.”