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  • Writer's pictureEdgemont Campus

EHS Atrocious Parking

As many student drivers at Edgemont know, there is a new Instagram account that exposes the poor parking of many students. After weeks of intense investigations, the avid reporters on the Campus magazine staff were unable to discover the identity of the owner of the account, @ehsatrociousparking. However, we were able to obtain copies of the photos on the account. We have spent hours scouring the data to find the best parking jobs, which are included below.

@ehsatrociousparking captures parking at all the student parking spaces, including Artillery, Old Colony, and the slot. No one is safe, especially newest drivers who don’t really shouldn’t be allowed to drive.

Contrary to popular belief, Juniors are actually better at parking than Seniors. Although they have been able to drive for a year longer than most Juniors, Seniors at Edgemont still struggle with parallel parking, as well as normal parking. Clearly, the road test doesn’t test parallel parking well enough. This car has created a new variety of parking called perpendicular parking. It is a really good tool to use if you want to block off entire sections of the slot and become a menace to other drivers.

Believe it or not, this was meant to be a parallel park. Although it somewhat resembles the final goal, this driver clearly struggles with spatial depth analysis. For those who don’t know how to drive, the goal of parallel parking is to stay within 12 inches of the curb, not 12 feet, as this car did instead.

This was actually an impressive park for edgemont drivers. Most student drivers struggle with parking close enough to the curb. In what was most likely an attempt to flex on other incompetent drivers, this car showed how close you can possibly get to the curb. This driver went beyond the norm of parking next to the curb and instead decided to assert their dominance by parking on top of the curb. Truly impressive.

For the lucky seniors in the slot who don’t need to parallel park, they face the task of fitting into a normal spot. The spots in the slot are even larger than normal in anticipation of student driver’s inability to park. Regardless of this added advantage, some drivers are still unable to determine where to spot the lines that define a parking spot. This is an honest mistake, and one that we can all understand. After all, the neon yellow lines on an otherwise black asphalt surface can be hard to see at times. Maybe they should paint them even brighter, but I don’t know if a brighter color exists.


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