How To Make a Guidance Appointment
For many Edgemont students, the start of school is synonymous with a guidance appointment to talk about dropping hard classes you ambitiously signed up for last spring. However, one victim of the covid-19 pandemic were the guidance suite’s computers, because they no longer turn on. Sadly, this means that students can no longer make guidance appointments from these convenient computers, and we must find other ways to schedule an appointment. In my experience, these are the steps to which one may have to resort:
Go to the Guidance Suite after school and realize the Guidance Suite desktops no longer work.
Proceed to go through the five stages of grief for these desktops. During the denial stage, try to turn the laptops on multiple times before finally accepting it’s not happening.
Give up and go home.
Contemplate life decisions that led to this lack of guidance appointments.
Refuse to accept defeat, brainstorm possible solutions.
Go to the Counseling Department’s website and find the tab with course selections.
Click the link to make an appointment! You found the link! You can make your guidance appointment!
Realize the only appointment you can make is a 10 minute appointment to discuss taking ADDITIONAL classes, not dropping existing ones.
Go back to the guidance offices the next day.
Speak to the Counseling Department’s secretaries about the dilemma.
Unfortunately, they were on a call the whole time with an angry representative of the Edgemont Families Facebook group, so they didn’t hear your cries for help.
When they end their call, ask where you can schedule a guidance appointment. They will send you to the C-building basement.
At the C-building basement, find the stack of defective chairs from the 1980s that have been under the C-building since 1993. Look under the chairs and find a bronze key.
Bring the key to Mr. Scalley’s chemical closet.
Find his bottle of 6M HCl, and dip the key into the acid. The acid will wash away a secret code on the key, which is a Google Classroom code for the Guidance Department.
On the Google Classroom site, scroll down to the fifth assignment from 2018. This will have the schedule of another secretary who works in the Guidance Suite. She will have the link to make an appointment.
Stalk the Guidance Department until she arrives. Enjoy a nice paper snowcone wrapper full of water from the water dispenser while you wait.
Approach the secretary’ desk as soon as she sits down, before she can receive a call from an angry edgemont parent.
Ask for the link. She will give you a post it note with the link written in cursive binary code.
Take a picture of the link. You’re almost there now.
Do a light jog to Mr. Scutero, because he can give you a binary decoder (if you call it a flippy-do, he’ll give you extra credit participation points) He can also read cursive, so he can help you get the link.
After some quick decoding, you have the link! Type the link onto your school issued computer (it won’t work on any other devices), and now you can make an appointment with your guidance counselor.
I hope this list was helpful for those who were having trouble making Guidance appointments. This is the process that worked best for me, and although everyone can go about this differently, I’m not sure there is a much better way. However, if you find an easier way, please let someone on the Campus staff know!